Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
