Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
