She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize