I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
