Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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