His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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