Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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