We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
