I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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