I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He felt like a one man threesome
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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