The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
