He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
