There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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