I hope mine doesn't look like that
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
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so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
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While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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