We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
