You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
