i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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