The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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