A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Randomize
