its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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