Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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