It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
