i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
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