Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
COCAINE IS GR8
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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