Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Soap is not a condiment
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
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John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
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I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
i now understand why vodka
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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