I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
the raccoons are back...
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