I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
