dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
