is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
