He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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