I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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