I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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