He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
These tits shall not be calmed
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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