3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
