Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
