Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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