Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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