I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
