whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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