All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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