i don't like sucking hair
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
