so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
