come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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