'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I just googled if crying burns calories
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
