this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize