So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
