Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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