my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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