his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
