I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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