Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
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