I want to stick my p in your. b.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
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