what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
