Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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