I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
porn star boner night. come get it.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
