So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
