Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
