i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize