"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
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