Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
