Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Your tits are I can't wait for
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize