My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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